The rise and rise of Govind as an Ultimate Frisbee player has been phenomenal. Even though he is the junior-most among all our athletes of Awadh KHELadis, he has been able to make a name for himself in the community. His speed, the accuracy of his throws, and his athletic layouts both on defense and offense have been consistently mind-blowing.
Govind is one of two siblings, to two ambitious parents who want nothing but the best for their children. They are probably among the most invested parents that we have met in the longest time. They come to drop him off for all tournaments, come to watch and cheer him on in local tournaments, and are in constant touch with Govind’s coach, Akshai, to get regular updates on him. Happy with how they felt their son was treated and how he was growing with the sport, the family decided to enroll his younger sister in the program too. Soon enough, she started doing well and began joining the team for various tournaments, and for her too, the parents would come to drop her off as we traveled for tournaments.
We had our perfect story of an encouraging family with two children, who picked a sport and grew with it, except for one thing. Whenever guests came over to their house. Shalini and Govind went from being two children to supportive parents to a daughter and a son of two Indian parents. Every time guests were expected, Shalini would request a leave to help her mother in the kitchen. The job was simple, she had to make tea and assist her mother in serving.
To the best of our intentions, Project KHEL runs its Ultimate Frisbee practice based on feminist principles. Our Head Coach, Akshai, is clear, both in words and actions, that gender equality is sought in cerebral possibilities and not merely physical capacities and should gradually extend from the field to other realms of the players’ lives. The journey of an inclusive space has been long and grueling, too many battles fought within the team and quite a few let go. The result of these battles is a general recognition that Awadh KHELadis has received more consistently now than ever, that we play together as a unit, not as girls and boys, but as a team. Quite recently, at the NCS 23–24 Nationals in Anantapur, we received a compliment that “you see someone in a pink jersey (Awadh KHELadis’ current jersey colour) and you make the pass at them, not caring what their gender is.”
As proud as we are of this, one small, yet the most significant practice that we feel left the largest impact on the team is Akshai’s insistence after the first couple of tournaments that EVERYONE was in charge of filling water for their team. What happened almost always in the first few tournaments was that girls had ‘naturally’ taken on the role of filling water bottles for the team and boys ‘naturally’ showed irritation at the girls if they did not get water in between points. Despite a strict order from their coach, most boys refused to fill bottles. As a solution, Akshai’s new rule in tournaments was NO ONE fills water for the team except a list of the ‘most phenomenal players’ of the team. Needless to say, at that point, the best players were all young men. They took the instruction well, except when the matches started, they refused to fill bottles, even though the filling station was less than 10 steps away. Their response as usual was that they had just played some intense points, so should be served water and not made to fill. The counter-statement and closing argument was to let the person who did not play at all fill the bottles. There was no such player and for a couple of matches, our players went without water, till the heroes realized that their coach was serious.
All of this was way back from the 2017–18s. Right now, in 2024, anyone who sees an empty bottle fills it.
Back to Govind.
When Shalini alone began asking for leave for when guests came, Akshai’s first question was, why Govind did not need one. Almost every time the answer was that Shalini needed to make tea and serve it to the guests. One day, as Shalini requested leave to help her mother in the kitchen, Akshai heard her out to ensure that chores in the kitchen were all that was needed and then decided to give Govind leave and have Shalini join the practice. Everyone had a good laugh, but once they figured that Akshai was serious, Shalini was the first to say, “But, Govind is no good in the kitchen. He cannot make tea.” Revisiting with the team on what is needed to make tea and what expertise Shalini has over Govind that allows only her to make tea, no one was left with an answer. Akshai also ensured that the fault lay not in Govind that he did not know how to make tea but in Shalini and their mother who never taught Govind to make tea. He also explained his rationale that Govind was the better player — much, much better at the sport than Shalini and that meant that Shalini needed more practice to strengthen her skills on the ground, and Govind needed the same in his kitchen. This probably shook things up in Govind’s house too when Govind was sent to deal with guests and Shalini was made to report for practice and Govind did eventually learn how to make tea.
Recently, at the NCS 23–24 Nationals held in Anantapur, Govind injured himself during our semi-final match and had to sit out of the game where we were fighting for the 3rd spot. Winning this would have meant a lot to us, but Govind just could not get himself to even jog pain-free, so had to sit out.
As the points proceeded, we noticed, point after point, that Govind limped in with bottles in his hand and gave them to his team. In between points, when he wasn’t cheering, he was filling multiple bottles to keep his team hydrated, including the ones who got fewer chances to play.
Winning numerous MVPs, receiving massive acknowledgment for his game, and being the ‘raja beta’ of his family, Govind’s efforts at serving his team by filling bottles of water are even more phenomenal than the game he plays. The softer shades of masculinity that we’ve been trying to introduce into our athletes’ lives have been a long and tiring journey and just watching someone practice their way of being a beautiful person is more rewarding than any win that we can think of…